The geniuses behind THNK1994 — the art-gallery-slash-cultural-archive, home of the Mary-Kate and Ash Tray and other paradigm-shifting objects — have a special treat for all Language Arts subscribers. Below, find their reading list, a divine blend of gay astrology, memoir, self-help, and more.
Dr. Zizmor’s Brand-Name Guide to Beauty Aids And Everything You Want to Know About Them and Whether There’s Anything There That’ll Hurt You and Most of All Whether They Really Do All (or Even Some) of the Things for You That the Labels Say They Do by Jonathan Zizmor
If you rode the NYC subway anytime prior to 2016 you know from his infamous subway ads that Dr. Zizmor is a dermatologist. You may not know that he wrote a book. As avid skincare enthusiasts, the “Creams and Lotions” chapter is of particular interest to us. Since it was published in 1978, it allows us to compare what was popular then vs. now. As it turns out, ingredient-wise, skincare has not changed much in the almost 50 years since this book's publication. His recommendation for the best face treatment: either Vaseline or AquaCare. This won’t be news to anyone familiar with the term “slugging.” Another piece of useful information contained in this book: Diet Coke gives you a better tan (but also worse sun damage). Life is all about give and take.
Gay Love Signs: The New Astrology Guide for Men Who Love Men by Michael Jay
Published in 1980, the main feature of this book are the twelve pages that offer “99 Words from the Wise.” Basically, it’s a list of 99 words and phrases for each star sign that are supposed to resonate with little explanation as to why. Some examples are below:
Aries: oral aggressive, sadism, Denmark
Cancer: nipples, hot tubs, sailors
Gemini: dildos, escalators, office boys
Taurus: Australia, steam baths, swallowing
Leo: exhibitionism, forearms, French ticklers
Virgo: dental technicians, Los Angeles, voyeurism
Libra: cosmetics, masturbation, spanking
Scorpio: anal stimulation, Baltimore, cock rings
Sagittarius: airline stewards, philanthropy, rough trade
Capricorn: armpits, economy, mutual masturbation
Aquarius: calf muscles, lighting design, socialism
Pisces: conspiracies, disco, feet
The Easy Way to Quit Vaping by Allen Carr
This is a must-have book, not so much to read, but rather, to aspire to read. The Allen Carr series will help you quit anything with a light hypnotism that is completed by the time you reach the end. The most exciting part is that in the first chapter he says you can vape as much as you want until the end when the hypnotism kicks in. Beginning to read it (and never finishing it) gives you a thrilling permission slip to vape with abandon. Keep it by your nightstand, travel with it, bring it into the tub, but never, ever, finish it.
Anchorwoman by Jessica Savitch
The story of Jessica Savitch is a coke-fueled tragedy in three acts. She worked relentlessly to become one of the first women to anchor the evening news in the 70s, then lost it all after appearing visibly intoxicated on air, only to die less than a month later in a car accident. The movie Anchorman is actually based (in part) on her. Will Ferrell got the idea for the movie while watching a Lifetime documentary about Savitch that featured one of her male colleagues offering this reflection: “You have to understand that back then, I was a real chauvinist.” Her love life included a years long relationship with a man she couldn’t quit and a closeted gynecologist who committed suicide. She had an addiction to cocaine that eventually brought her down and led to a BTS video of her yelling at crew members that went “viral” before that was even a phrase. Of course, none of this is in the book because this book was written by Jessica Savitch herself. In our opinion, this makes it an even more fascinating read by a truly fabulous, inspirational, and legendary figure.
Call Me Crazy by Anne Heche
When Anne Heche died we found ourselves becoming more and more obsessed with every detail of that day. The timeline never seemed fully put together and apart from some conspiracy theories on TikTok that didn’t really have the juice that the great ones are made of, it seemed like everyone moved on culturally way too soon. This inspired the purchase of this out-of-print book, and though we weren’t sure what to expect, what we got was the most Hollywood story ever written that also contained some of the best descriptions of “being crazy” we’ve ever read. For example, “the best part about going crazy is you never know when it’s going to happen, so you can’t prepare yourself, or be scared of it.” Her story contains the highest highs (literally getting discovered because a Hollywood agent’s flight was cancelled during a snowstorm, and they randomly decided to go watch a high school play she was in) and lowest lows (everything pre-Hollywood) life can offer.
the anne heche book is really good and gives important details about celestia
Your high society insta reel lol